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August HaikusThe buzzards have fledged,
swapping nests for summer winds
screaming on new wings.
You’re my thunder dusk
following heat clogged daylight
I pray for your fall.
Leaf mulch and bare bark.
Faith went the way of winter
without spring for hope.
I kept Autumn close,
wrote to it with summer words-
not that winter knew.
You tracked mud footsteps
across everything I own.
You said “this is spring.”
I must be clutter.
Finding my way into rooms
to watch you spurn Spring.
Summer surprised us,
trust England not to expect
sunshine in July.
We never measure
the worth of just one rain-drop…
just the water gauge.
You and I keep score,
this romance like grass tennis
Ace down centre line.
We have stopped speaking.
It’s difficult to say why
and you won’t explain.
GeminiI was born by the ramparts, lost arts, running from the ebbs and flows
Convincing me that there were reasons that I couldn't let go
I was born inside a lie that told me everything will happen for a reason
Convinced I had to finish what I started, every season, barely breathing
I was raised by a failure of a murder of crows, I plucked the roses
As winter approached to see their beauty by me just before they're frozen
I was raised to be a champion, sanctioned by a crown of thorns
That knew me only as the victor, not a series of scorn, forlorn
I fell in love with two butterflies to match, each one had vanished
One fell 3 stories too hard, the other took advantage
I fell in love with 4 forces, all contorting my skin and picking sides
Realizing they're only with me during lows, not the highs
I became a polymath, running laps to keep my head strong
Even though I didn't understand that that what what was wrong
I became a victim of higher pressures that I just didn't get
Told that doing what I
Monkeyshines.All but deceived by the easy reception, i cry for the
ambivalent column of bones that is softer than it is wide.
He fattens me giddy with his wit sharper than my tongue, i
am a Narcissus wilting against an abstract six foot seven.
This is all not to discredit the epiphany realized as it stamped itself
into the bathroom floor, all but made it to the bathroom mirror.
This is all not to say i could swallow it;
So i didn't, and i hid it as i danced on principle of amputated limbs,
singing soporific hymns as encomia to my congealed pride.
[Drink to me, i'm too young to drink to myself].
[Sing for me, i'm too low to sing for myself].
i nodded to his prodding, my cognac-coffee partage clawing cloyingly
at his tuxedo sleeve;
[look at me], [look at me], [look at me].
And their teeth retreated in the face of such stale charm, unsettled even
after its rolling embellishment in my sleeping eyes.
So floral am i, i cannot be seen in my fairytale hedging i have grown
on the carpet of my mother's stone
cannibal snowflakeswatching madmen (and)
eating fresh kills
in the dark
picking the carcass apart
halves of a euphemism
the raw start of symbolism
Nighttime Ramblings and InsufficiencyYou drop your jaw,
and you pull words out from
hiding, deep in your throat.
You wretch up a mass of
unfiltered, unedited, reality
because you believe that's what it is
to be understood.
You leave a trail of mutterings
wherever you go
no one will ever want me
it's not enough
and i'm sorry, i'm
so so sorry
Do you remember the difference between
a shadow and a ghost? (the world ends
the day the sun won't shine)
Instead of sleeping (maybe
tomorrow won't come if you
don't say goodnight) you wait;
you will not be remembered, and
that is the scariest part-
you were never loud enough.
i'm so sorry
The night presses too hard,
pulling you down, even though
you plead for one more day to prove
you aren't just passing through.
In the margins, you breathe:
The deforestation of a wild thing.You tear the curtains down
and find that I am a funeral pyre in
You learn that loneliness is nothing like
emptiness, but a burning forest.
Brightburnflames licking up my thighs and
taking with them the kisses you lay there,
and there and there.
Will my deforestation strip my skin back to
the taste of lovers old, their touches turned Midas-gold
along the expanse of new pink skin?
The curtains haven't burnt so you pin
them back up on my collarbone wings and slide
them closed to hide the damage.
I burn the way unwanted things burn (green wood damp bark),
I don't want to go but you've shut the fire in and my skin
shrieks and blisters at your rejection.
susurrationvertebrae like rough marbles down my back,
clacking back and forth as your finger
strikes each in a row, coaxing
a constellation from the
fissures of my fresh
(he made a home in a gap between two of my ribs
and sometimes i feel him laughing at my heart murmur)
brightestsleep was more of a place
than a state of being,
a safe house or a padded cell,
but i had always found it
a rather weak substitute for oblivion.
i didn't like to think about
if i was reckless or if that worried you -
i just knew that whether from fear or something worse,
i always returned, & you were always waiting for me:
you, or the ghosts that clung to the places you'd been.
i was not present even as you guided me to the platform.
you were treating me like a fracture, a fault line,
shielding me with your body & coat
from the sunlight & noise as we left for poland.
you kept me existing but that was all,
& so i did not open my eyes
until the sun was sinking in the sky.
the light pierced the windows & pierced my skin
& burned me right out of a dreamless black so suddenly that i gasped.
your hand covered mine like a muscle spasm
& an apology dribbled from my mouth
before i was conscious enough to understand